I am not a parent!!! But I am taking the class Applied Parenting and I just wanted to share an article my teacher shared with us in class that I thought was just mind blowing. The point of this blog is to share things that I learn in my life and Behavioral Science Family Studies things I learn at school. This is mostly so I can have it later on and if you happen to find it helpful and interesting then awesome!
So in life I love learning new ways of doing things but I always take everything with a grain of salt because let’s be realistic. Life is hard! No one is perfect and their is no perfect way to do anything. This is why I love my Applied Parenting class because my teacher is so realistic about parenting and only suggests ways to improve. She loves to show pictures of children throwing all their toys in the toilet, a mother holding a baby with spit up all down her back, and children throwing tantrums in the middle of the store. She explains that this is the life of a parent! It is not glamorous and every parent feels like they are messing it up but it is the most rewarding thing a person can do. I love this because that is how life really is.
In this post I am going to share an article she shared with us that I just thought was great. In the next post I will share another one but this one is “10 Alternatives to ‘Consequences’ When Your Child Isn’t Cooperating.” The largest thing that I learned from this is that natural consequences are key to behavior. We watched a movie for another assignment of parents of eight children talking about things that they had learned. One of the biggest things they mentioned was that by letting natural consequences take over it made things easier for them. They were not having constantly punish their child over a lot of little things and had more time to spend with each child. I always love to hear how to make things easier but honestly it this philosophy makes sense! In the article it also explains how to make natural consequences be a motivating tool.
Now I don’t have kids and I will not say that I know anything about having kids! But I do know that be even more successful at anything takes work. This article suggests alternatives that would take work. Now this article is not going to work for everyone or even me! But I have started applying principles of it into my life and I have found improvement. I need to let natural consequences be just that. I should not punish myself for making a mistake! There is going to be a natural consequence for my mistake and I need to let that be that, otherwise I am just wasting energy and making myself more depressed. It is the same with my husband. He is going to make mistakes and instead of getting upset with him I just need to let those natural consequences be that.
Also, this does not just apply to children! The biggest point of the article is when something needs done and a person is not doing it then instead of letting anger and frustration control actions we can find more positive alternatives to persuade them to accomplish it. This applies to everyone and can work on children as well as spouses, coworkers, or who ever. This is something I need to work on and I am glad that this article laid out other ways that I can accomplish this.