I did not serve a mission. I wanted to, but didn’t. I had my papers all ready to go but as I was about to submit them I had the strong impression that I shouldn’t. That was a difficult experience but looking back I am grateful that I didn’t. I know it would have been much harder to be a successful missionary with undiagnosed depression and eating disorder.
It’s difficult to look in a mirror. I see all of my imperfections and dwell on them. I constantly feel as if I am never good enough. I continually compare myself to everyone around me. I don’t forgive myself for mistakes. I think I am unworthy for love when I sin.
As a child I hated general conference. It was soooo long and soooo boring. I could not stand it. The only good thing about it was getting to stay in my pj’s all day long.
As I’ve gotten older I have come to enjoy conference in a way that my younger self would never have understood. There is something amazing about listening to the prophet and his apostles speak. I can truly feel the spirit as they talk. Plus, they always say something that I truly needed to hear.
This was it, this was the moment. This was the place. I felt it so strongly that my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest. It was time for me to enter an eating disorder treatment center and I knew the one that I was going to be the best for me. The only problem was that there was $2,000 down payment in order to be admitted.
My husband and I did not have that kind of money lying around. We talked about selling our own possessions but nothing we had was worth that much. No matter how we looked at it, we could not afford the down payment. (more…)
You want the truth? Okay, the answer is no. No, I haven’t. I never have seen Jesus Christ. I’ve felt his presence. I’ve read his words. But I have never seen him face to face.
The sixth part of the “The Living Christ” reads:
Of the Living Christ, the Prophet Joseph wrote: “His eyes were as a flame of fire; the hair of his head was white like the pure snow; his countenance shone above the brightness of the sun; and his voice was as the sound of the rushing of great waters, even the voice of Jehovah,
Joseph Smith saw God the Father and his son, Jesus Christ. I haven’t. Because of that, sometimes a voice deep down inside of me asks, “Well then, how do you really know he’s real?” (more…)