The Secret to Raising Resilient Children

mother-1039765_1280Every single day I sit down and open up the news on my iPad or see what news is featured in the trending box on Facebook. Each of these times I am confronted with the reality that, despite the great life that I have, the world that I live in can be a scary place. “Murder!” “Terrorist attacks!” “Accidents!” “Death!” the headlines read and I can feel my heart racing because in spite of trying to separate myself from someone else’s reality I know the world’s stress gets to me. If that is how I get hearing the news, I cannot imagine how it must affect children. Children are so impressionable and as an adult and a future parent I want to help my children excel regardless of what is going on around them, but could the answer possibly be so simple? (more…)

Understanding the new church policy for children of same-sex couples

FullSizeRenderI read so many comments from this article of active members of the church feeling confused and hurt by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints not allowing children of same-sex couples to get baptized. It’s okay to be confused and hurt! It does sound awful! Let me see if I can help spread some light on the subject and answer a few questions that I also had while I am at it.

The first and biggest thing is make sure you read the whole article. The heading sounds terrible but the truth is that children of same-sex spouses can get baptized after 18 years of age.

There is nothing new about this policy.

My husband served his mission in (more…)

Learning from Stephanie Nielson

I got to listen to Stephanie Nielson speak on October 1st! She is my hero for so many reasons and I love reading her blog so I was extremely excited to listen to her speak at Utah Valley University. I was disappointed that I had to sit in the back but it was just incredible to see the place totally packed with people who are also inspired by this woman!

She told her story of being a mother, her trial and struggles after surviving a plane crash that burnt over 80% of her body, her hard work and dedication to living a beautiful life despite pain and challenges, and her profound faith in Jesus Christ through it all.  What is there not to admire about this woman? I am so glad I went to hear her speak because she said some things that I really needed to hear.

The first thing that really stood out to me was (more…)

Why I stopped saying to my husband, “Good job!”

Don’t say, “Good job!” Have you lost your mind?! That was my exact thought when my Applied Parenting teacher did a lesson on encouragement vs praise. This was the most mind blowing lesson I have ever had because I could see how much my husband and I struggle with this.

The article that goes with that lesson is, “Five Reasons to Stop Saying ‘Good Job!” and it explains that when we praise people, more specifically children, we are taking their accomplishment and turning it what we think. When someone accomplishes something it should not matter what we think, if they feel proud of their work then that is what is important. After time, this can cause someone to feel successful only when someone else is proud of their accomplishments.

keep_calm_and_be_proud_of_yourself_by_rainbowrandomness-d6jk4gxInstead of saying good job, we can (more…)

Misbehaving? Alternatives to “Consequences”

I am not a parent!!! But I am taking the class AppLaughing girl in yellow towel_300lied Parenting and I just wanted to share an article my teacher shared with us in class that I thought was just mind blowing. The point of this blog is to share things that I learn in my life and Behavioral Science Family Studies things I learn at school. This is mostly so I can have it later on and if you happen to find it helpful and interesting then awesome!

So in life I love learning new ways of doing things but I always take everything with a grain of salt because let’s be realistic. Life is hard! No one is perfect and their is no perfect way to do anything. This is why I love my Applied Parenting class because my teacher is so realistic about parenting and only suggests ways to improve. She loves to show pictures of children throwing all their toys in the toilet, a mother holding a baby with spit up all down her back, and children throwing tantrums in the middle of the store.  She explains that this is the life of a parent! It is not glamorous and every parent feels like they are messing it up but it is the most rewarding thing a person can do. I love this because that is how life really is.

In this post I am going to share an article she shared with us that I just thought was great. In the next post I will share another one but this one is “10 Alternatives to ‘Consequences’ When Your Child Isn’t Cooperating.” The largest thing that I learned from this is that natural consequences are key to behavior. We watched a movie for another assignment of parents of eight children talking about things that they had learned. One of the biggest things they mentioned was that by letting natural consequences take over it made things easier for them. They were not having constantly punish their child over a lot of little things and had more time to spend with each child. I always love to hear how to make things easier but honestly it this philosophy makes sense! In the article it also explains how to make natural consequences be a motivating tool.

Now I don’t have kids and I will not say that I know anything about having kids! But I do know that be even more successful at anything takes work. This article suggests alternatives that would take work. Now this article is not going to work for everyone or even me! But I have started applying principles of it into my life and I have found improvement. I need to let natural consequences be just that. I should not punish myself for making a mistake! There is going to be a natural consequence for my mistake and I need to let that be that, otherwise I am just wasting energy and making myself more depressed. It is the same with my husband. He is going to make mistakes and instead of getting upset with him I just need to let those natural consequences be that.

Also, this does not just apply to children! The biggest point of the article is when something needs done and a person is not doing it then instead of letting anger and frustration control actions we can find more positive alternatives to persuade them to accomplish it. This applies to everyone and can work on children as well as spouses, coworkers, or who ever. This is something I need to work on and I am glad that this article laid out other ways that I can accomplish this.