Self-worth

Honoring an ordinary man who did extraordinary things

Aerosol hair spray. Out of everything that takes me back to those days, nothing gets me the way the smell of aerosol hair spray does. When I smell it I instantly think of packed buses, damp grass, makeup, and the feeling one gets from the adrenaline rush of performing in front of a large audience of people.

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Mr. Miller

Today is the day we celebrate the retirement from the 30 years of Mr. John Miller’s work at American Fork as the Director of the Bands. What Mr. Miller was able to accomplish over these 30 years is just astounding. He was able to take this band program to a serious level that was recognized throughout the country. More than that though, he created a program that empowers students to believe in themselves. I was one such student. (more…)

What I Wish People Understood About My Depression

18950-girl-with-umbrella-in-the-rain-1920x1200-girl-wallpaperI remember one day in particular that I carefully wrapped tape around each and every finger covering up my fingerprints. As I went throughout the day like normal everything I touched was numb to the most sensitive part of my fingers and I loved the lack of feeling. There was no sane reason for taping up my fingers besides the giddiness I felt from creating physical numbness. At the time it was just a random thing a sleep deprived college student was doing at six o’clock in the morning that I didn’t think much about. Now, I realizes that it was much more concerning than just that. (more…)

The Advice That Changed My View of Life

10150611523642940“Who was I ?” It was asked in a car, I don’t remember if it was my car or hers but that is really besides the point. I had recently landed my dream job and found that it did not make me happy which made me question everything I knew about myself. I felt overwhelmingly lost having worked so hard to get where I was and finding out that it was not the right place for me. It made me question who I was and my purpose in life. That night, years ago, in a cold car I confided all of this to my friend. To this day I still remember her advice because it completely changed how I viewed myself and my life. (more…)

Falling In Love… With My Imperfect Body

5520fe59575d89e6c4dabfd977a3d9d7Regardless of what my weight has been or how long I took to get ready for the day, every time I walk past a mirror I notice the physical imperfections. I think to myself that I am so ugly and fat that nothing I do can improve that. Then, I sadly continue on with my day feeling slightly more depressed then I had before I passed the mirror. This last Valentines Day I decided that I am doing something different, I am going to fall in love with someone I have never been able to stand, myself. (more…)

Should I stay or should I go on a mission? It was not my decision…

I was 19 when the age changed happened and women could leave on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints at that age. Let me tell you, I had no clue what to think when I heard that! It was an exciting time and everyone around me was putting in their mission papers, including lots of my closest friends.

At that time in my life I was enrolled at Utah Valley University and worked part time at Dixon Middle School and Cold Stone while living with my best friends near the campus. It was a fun and busy time in my life and I was unsure of whether or not I wanted to give it all up to go on a mission.

I spent a lot of time praying and fasting about whether or not to go. After a while, I finally got the answer to (more…)